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Monday, May 9, 2011

For the concerned ones

If you are on my facebook or following me on twitter than you might have already know that my daddy's is warded once again :(    Read here if you have not already know about what happened.

Its 4;20am now and i am currently guarding him beside his bed while updating this little space for those that are concerned. A million thks for those who texted me and asking about his condition or telling me he will recover etc.. Im sorry i did not reply or replied with a word. The circumstances/situation or whatever you call it just isnt right. ( You know what i meant )

This few days is very very crucial. We were told he only has 3 months to survive on Feb and now its May already. Last stage of cancer but nopes! We are not giving up hopes and we do believe miracle exist.

Deedee is a strong man. The man that everyone in the house could rely on. The man that spend all his life slogging so we have a roof over our head. Skipping his meals to complete the work on his hand than he could accept and start on more projects or work that is awaiting so as to earn more and try giving us the best that he could.

Just like every other dad on earth, he gives and never expect any returns. The kind of un-conditioned love that you will never know how it feels like till you have a child of your own. ( If you have not already hugged ur dad and telling him you appreciates all the things he does for you today, do so. )

Because today, i finally understand what it meant by " only realising when you are about to lose something ". We are never appreciative till we are about to lose or have already lose something precious to us.

Dee was warded on thursday while i was in school. When i rushed down, his condition was so much better than today. He could express his pain, he could grumbles, he could still tell me off for saying he is bias when i clearly know that he dote on me the most.

Today, he only can show his reactions through raising his brows, moving his hands and the "u" and "n" shaped mouth to show that he actually hears you because he can no longer speak or open his eyes anymore. Can you imagine it? How it hurts to actually see him not being able to express himself due to the constant morphine injection every second. The cancer has caused holes in his large and small intestine thus, he cannot do without morphine now because the pain is unbearable.

But i know and i really do hope he will never give up fighting with the sickness because i have trust in him and i hope he will not disappoint me and everyone around him. Even though the doctor says there is no hope nor cure now but i believe in miracle. I believe in faith. I believe in god and i believe if there is a will, there is a way.

This man lying on the ward bed beside me now still has many many things left to do, want to do and dreams that are not fulfiled. I pray hard that god will not take him away because he might not be significant but he is the world to me, to us.

Alright, im getting emotional again. ): i promised momo i will be strong and try not tear infront of him because i dont want him to worry. So before i drop my tear, ciaos!

4 comments:

Jack Froze said...

Hey, i am Jack Froze from formspring...just got to know what happen to you dad. Stay strong k. God is with you and him. Will keep him in prayer, he will make it through de.

Anonymous said...

my condolences to you and your family :(

Kumiko hayler said...

I teared while reading your post. My condolences to you and your family. :'( Stay strong babe! <3

Anonymous said...

So sad to hear that...
i share yr same feelings too... :(
i tear when i hear yr story...
cox my stepdad pass away too on April fool day... :( what a joke...
believe they will find peace in heaven, ur dad will look over for u in heaven.. : )

take care!!!
HUGS

gal gal